More Decisions – Family Structure? Choices (Part 10)

Categories: Choices, Léo’s Insights 2022-2023

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While choices abound for the why’s, how’s, when’s, where’s and what’s of home education, there are other decisions that must be made to ensure a sound foundation upon which to conduct your educational efforts.

One of the biggest reasons families fail to continue a home education program is because their house is out of order.  Today, I would like to address this most important topic and the decisions required to get this right.

There is an old saying that anything with more than one head is a freak or monster.  This is true, especially when applied to the family.  On the other hand, if there is no head the entity is dead, and a house lacking leadership is on a collision course with failure.

God has established an order that, when followed, results in the best possible, NOT PERFECT, family unit.  First of all, there should only be one leader who will take responsibility for the total well-being of the family.  When there is a contest for leadership, the conflict usually ends up damaging the family.  Who should be this leader, you may ask?  It is best to answer this question by addressing God.  We entreat God as our heavenly father, not our heavenly husband, mother or wife.  Nor do we address God as our heavenly school, church, minister, pastor or government.  This is not to reduce the importance or place of the other “titles”, but to show that the father has been uniquely given this authoritative position within the nuclear family.

It is important to know that the father’s authority comes with the corresponding responsibility to love and cherish his wife and children.  Therefore, the direction the father’s leadership takes will determine where the family ends up.  Godly leadership should lead to godly results.  Alternatively, if the family is not moving towards God, it is either floundering or on its way to hell on earth.  I am sure I need not discuss how bad things can be when a house is out of order or when it is inappropriately being led in the wrong direction.

Just as important, and I am talking specifically to fathers right now, is the fact that “father” is not a title, but a responsibility.  An absentee father, whether physically separated from his family or just distant, self-centred or careless, is often worse than having no father at all.  A wife and children of such a family are not only burdened with doing the father’s job, but also with an often unfulfilled expectation that things will get better.

Home education has a much better chance of survival if there is a proper home.  The correct order has the father lovingly supporting his wife as she teaches their children as per his positive instruction and direction.  Mom has to respect the father’s leadership, and children must obey their parents, which means they are to play the role of children, not adults.  With everyone fulfilling their proper roles, the family unit is secure and the home education program will not only reflect this direction and the foundation upon which it is built, but will also provide a model for the children to follow as they grow up and become parents themselves.

Know that neither the father, mother, nor children are more important than the others in a properly ordered family.  When everyone is respected and valued equally, and as each properly fulfills their proper roles, the nuclear family will grow together as the loving unit intended by God.  This is the environment in which home education has the best possibility of success.

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