Reflections on Marriage, Part 2: Reflections (Part 20)

Categories: Léo’s Insights 2022-2023, Reflections

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I have no idea where statistics come from.  Mark Twain is famous for saying there are three types of lies including lies, damn lies and statistics!  Either I am surrounded by like-minded individuals or I am completely disconnected from the greater population, but I have a hard time believing only 5% of all marriages make it to fifty years.  On the other hand, a lot of people we know are in their second or third marriage, so I suppose they will never see the fifty year mark unless the subsequent marriages were engaged in at a young age and life is very long.

WE did not just agree to get married and work things out.  WE actually solved most of our future problems by making sure they did not occur in the first place.  WE did a lot of talking about pretty well everything WE could think of at the time.  WE verbally drafted agreements, rules and expectations before WE were officially engaged and then got even more serious about how WE would handle potential disagreements.

Without knowing it, WE had stumbled onto the most important elements of a good and long-lasting marriage.  WE communicated.  Full disclosure, no secrets, no games and absolutely no dishonesty allowed.  However, the base element was one of integrity.  If either one of us had been insincere in even the smallest way, any minor infection would have ultimately led to major problems.  There was no paper contract, not even a handshake.  If our words were no good, nothing else would be either.

Communication has to be constant and open.  In order to do this, you must spend time together.  I realize not everyone has the same privileges I have had, but then again, WE planned our lives around being able to have good options.  WE married each other in total commitment.  WE went to university and got an education.  WE had children.  WE built our home.  WE taught for years.  WE started Education Unlimited.  WE saw it grow into a rather successful enterprise.  WE had our ups and our downs, but WE were always together.  In fact, those two weeks I spent in the hospital in February of 2022 were the longest time WE had ever been apart!  WE have been and remain each other’s best friend… and WE talk to each other a lot.  WE have been described as the inseparable couple, which WE are.

The Lesson
The more time you spend together, the better the communication will be, which in turn means a more open and honest relationship that can last a lifetime.

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