The Bomb! Back to the Basics (Part 38)

Categories: Léo’s Insights 2023-2024, Back to the Basics

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Although ministry is very rewarding when seeing people healed from what ails them, it is also painful as we tend to suffer with those who are suffering.  We see a lot of pain every year during our facilitation travels.

Maybe it is because we have friendly faces.  Perhaps it is because we are older and people assume we have wisdom.  Hopefully, it is because people see the Spirit within.  Likely, it is because we are not officially part of the family, nor gossips, so secrets are safe with us.  Who knows, but Faye and I seem to be sounding boards for parents in need of sharing family issues, and we have heard plenty of them.

Do not misunderstand what we are saying.  We are not complaining; we are honestly telling you that if you experience one of life’s bombs, you are not alone and it is likely not entirely your fault.  We have been on both sides of this fence.  As young parents, we took a strip off our parents.  They deserved it of course, but then again, in retrospect we could have gone about the confrontation in a much better way.  Thirty some years later, we were on the receiving end and we didn’t appreciate it any more than our parents likely did.

What we refer to as the bomb is actually part of our humanity.  It is targeted at our basic need to be loved and appreciated which leaves us all vulnerable.  There is nothing more painful than to be rejected or abandoned by those we love the most.  This is especially so when it involves parents, children or spouse.  The closer the relationship, the greater the potential for pain.

Considering God will never, ever, ever turn His back on us, we see nothing but darkness and evil when loved ones “bomb” us, and anger when others do as well.  We want to lash out, make somebody pay for our pain. Anything to try to reduce the level of discomfort we are experiencing. But it is probably best to do nothing, at least immediately after the bomb has been detonated.

You do not really know what precipitated this most unwelcome action, but it is probably a good guess the problem originates with the individual dropping the bomb.  When we bombed our parents, we were experiencing some major financial challenges.  I was jobless and we were sleepless with young children.  When our children bombed us they were dealing with their own issues and the only common denominator to their unique situations was Faye and me.  You could say both our parents and us were actually hit by the shrapnel, but it felt like bombs.  This does not make being bombed any easier to accept, but it may prevent us from reacting badly.

Extending the consideration that the bomber may be experiencing some difficult situations in their life should also help us to extend a bit of grace when we are badly treated by strangers, like the grumpy servant, unpleasant colleague or taciturn policeman.  Could it be they are having a tough time in their lives and simply passing their discomfort to you?  This may not be a bomb, but it could be a cry for help.

Every family will have the opportunity to deal with bombs.  That is because of two things.  First, we live in a fallen world where bombs exist.  Second, if the family is of prime significance to God, the enemy will make it his prime target and let’s face it, he inflicts maximum pain when he can trick those we love the most into being his unwitting agents and accomplices.

Occasionally we find ourselves directly or indirectly in the bombing range and we can end up as collateral damage of someone else’s war.  While it is best to avoid such situations, we may find ourselves involved as protectors of the innocent.  Child abuse comes to mind.  God sees and appreciates having a representative on the scene.  However, it is not fun!

Eventually the dust settles and things return to normal, but most likely a new normal.  That was the case with our folks, as it was with us.  We took the unfortunate incidents to re-evaluate how things needed to change, usually in small ways so we could stay clear of the trip wires that detonated the bomb.

We only want to share this with you so you understand that if you are experiencing the pain of rejection, abandonment or death, you are not alone.  Jesus’ last words were “Why have You forsaken me?”  He knows what you are going through.

Faye and I have had to endure our share of pain.  Every year we witness and/or hear others’ painful stories which often beg the question, “Why?”, to which there sometimes simply is no answer.  While we may not understand why bad things happen, we need to reconcile with our situation so we can carry on with the life we have been given.  We do this by making sure those people whom God has put in our lives are encouraged through us.  This will help to make the pain go away.  And remember, there is One who stays closer than a brother, even when others have forgotten just how valuable we are.  You are not alone.

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