Where To Sit
Categories: Léo’s Insights 2024-2025
It is simply amazing what a single word or negligible action can create. I have personally taken some very harsh criticisms and serious personal insults over things so small, I had to really think hard to imagine how it could have been offensive. I have actually seen a single misplaced word completely destroy a potential or even existing relationship. Hard to imagine this is grownup behaviour, but then again, our modern society seems to celebrate immaturity over common sense and decorum.
My wife and I long ago learned the importance of adapting to our immediate environment to become more like the people we are visiting, in order to serve them better. To farming families, we are farmers, or at least we know enough about farming to intelligently communicate in their world. Likewise, we are tradespeople with tradespeople, poor to the poor, sufferers with those who are suffering and so forth. When we are not well versed in whatever situation is at hand, we simply ask questions while displaying a genuine interest in learning from those we are visiting. But of all the “techniques” in our book on how to get along with people, nothing seems to matter more than where we sit.
Where one sits is very important, even if not recognized. It is, in fact, based on a clear understanding of legitimate authority. Every house has to have a head, without which the family structure is likely out of order and in need of repair. Under normal circumstances, meaning in nearly all nuclear families, the man is the head of the house. At least that is how God ordained things. Knowing this, we find it very important not only to recognize the headship of the home we are visiting but to clearly communicate through our actions that we honour and respect this authority.
For instance, when we arrive in a home, if it has not already been established, I ask where dad sits. Once apprised of dad’s favourite chair, I make it a point not to sit in that chair unless the father insists I do as his gesture of honouring our presence in his home. When directed to sit on his throne, I make it clear how much I appreciate the respect being paid to me by him.
Respecting the God-ordained order of a home by being careful about which seat you occupy is critically important to avoid inadvertently declaring a false authority over a family. Dad is boss. Recognize that and honour it whenever visiting.
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