A Loss of Faith: Reflections (Part 11)

Categories: Léo’s Insights 2022-2023, Reflections

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I was on the phone with the Manager of Accreditation and Monitoring when we got the electrifying news of our son’s departure from this world. I was in such shock, I behaved as though nothing had happened and soon contacted this man again to resume our discussion.  Having been apprised of my tragic situation, he volunteered to personally help me in applying for accreditation.

The accreditation process is long and convoluted.  To make matters worse, we had already been conducting affairs as a de facto school for over two decades, meaning we had developed novel ways of doing things, and making these ways fit a government system was difficult.  And, we were applying for accreditation months after the deadline, with only a few months before the start of the next year.

It should come as no surprise, but I completely missed the fact that something or someone must have been behind this accreditation activity.  Why was I sent directly to the Manager and not to some lower bureaucrat, and why was anyone entertaining an application long past a well established deadline?  Still, the Get-Er-Done Team helped me put together a package that, in my opinion, lacked in many ways, but we did what we needed to do.

My heart was not in this any more.  It was broken, bleeding and primarily focussed on the immediate task of taking the next breath.  By mid-July, I started questioning the possibility of accreditation in time for the coming fall.  Feeling a deep responsibility to the parents, students and staff, I decided not to gamble on acquiring accreditation, suspended our application and sought a third sponsoring school.

The Lesson
I should have realized God wanted us to get our accreditation.  In retrospect, I am now convinced that the Minister herself may have been pushing in that direction.  I was so distracted by our tragedy and overburdened with tasks associated with our son’s passing, I focussed on what could be seen rather than on what could not and I temporarily lost faith. I forgot God’s ability to turn the impossible into reality.

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